Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
