recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize