it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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