I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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