Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
