can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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