nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
