when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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