Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize