He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
