Me. At least after what I've been through.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
