it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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