If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize