id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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