Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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