Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
