It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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