Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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