the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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