Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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