No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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