so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There are leaves in my underwear?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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