So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
