I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
