it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
