So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
