I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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