remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize