Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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