omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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