I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
