this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
