Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
