We're like a lot better than the average bears
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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