Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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