Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize