Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
