you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i drank out of a bidet.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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