NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize