Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
