i need an iv and a liver transplant
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize