Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
