Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize