my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
