Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
