i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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