how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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