OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
