whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
