My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
