that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
