TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
