I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
