he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
