I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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